Searching for Swimmers–Chapter 13

It wasn’t even nine in the morning, and the heat was already unbearable. A woman in her early thirties walked along the sidewalk to the local coffee joint. This was going to be her last double espresso for a while. She patted her stomach and wondered, Is something really in there? Only time would tell. She had an appointment with her doctor later today to find out if the pregnancy had taken. Until then, she planned on enjoying some of the things in her life that she would otherwise be unable to enjoy once she received what she hoped to be good news.

            As she walked down the street, her body fell into the rhythm of routine. This was a trip she took often, some days two or three times, which was good, because her mind was somewhere else entirely. Her mind raced as her body continued to work on autopilot. Did I make the right decision? Can I really raise a child alone? Should I raise a child alone? She was frustrated…frustrated because these were all questions she thought she’d already answered. They were questions she had continually weighed over and over again for the last six months. Still, after already setting the course in motion, here I am, asking the same questions over again. It pissed her off. While she was a woman of contemplation, she was also a woman of conviction. Once she made a decision, she knew it had been thoroughly analyzed and thought through so she could move forward without doubt. But I’ve never made a choice like this before.