It’s hard to give up the things you love even when they don’t love you back. I was fortunate to win that battle with cigarettes. Sure I sneak back every now and give her a kiss and let her caress my lungs but always in the company of another smoker. It’s become a social thing, proof that I can exert power over something that previously made me powerless.
For the first time in a very long time I had a cigarette craving and actually purchased a pack then stood outside the gas station, sparked one up (with a match) and enjoyed it to it’s butt. It felt like the first time all over again.
I’m not sure what caused the craving but I suspect it’s the cold weather. There was always something satisfying about drawling in the smoke with the cold air, like the tobacco was chilled.
Well, like all things we love there were good times and bad times. Fortunately, I remember the bad times all too well and won’t make a habit of my lone cigarette – I hope.